Forgiving my debtors? But they owe me something! What do I want them to do to repay me? I really had not thought that through. I just knew they did me wrong and they should have to pay. But I have a reason when I do wrong and God should forgive me. It is clear God’s ways are higher than Patti’s ways.

Long before this insight about my anger I had said the words I forgive them. In my heart I thought I had done all I needed to do but then the Lord taught me the way to really forgive. For most of my life I thought “Seeing is believing.” The truth is I didn’t see what unforgiveness was doing to me because it is a serious spiritual issue. Getting down to the doing actual forgiving of my debtor was a choice. Forgiveness is not about how our flesh feels toward the person it is about our decision to obey the truth in God’s word. Reflecting back I can see why the Lord would have me speak the forgiveness aloud. The forgiveness was not only spoken by me but was also heard by me. Yes, I get am getting it Lord; faith comes by hearing and hearing the word of God.

It was difficult to say aloud, “I forgive them Lord of any resentment or judgment I have held against them”. The struggle was because my flesh, feelings, and emotions were still tied to the hurt and pain. When I started doing my duty of daily forgiving my feelings of offense and hurt within had not changed. The first day was a little frustrating because of the number of times I had to speak out the forgiveness. Then by God’s grace I was made aware of the price of holding on to unforgiveness. In the following days the time and energy spent in forgiving helped me understand the consequence. I was hurting no one but myself. My relationship with God and others was suffering and I was feeling the strain.

Memorizing and quoting scriptures is good but I have found it even more beneficial to understand how to apply them to my life. It was an eye opener for me to grasp the concept of forgiving others. God didn’t just have a “Do Not List”. He didn’t set up rules just so He could say I told you “Not” to do that. He knew the effects it would have on my life and He wanted to spare me from experiencing them.

It would be a nice story to say it was all over in a couple of days. The daily forgiveness continued on for a period of 2 to 3 months. I may have been stubborn and that is why it took so long but whatever the reason and no matter how long it takes it is worth the journey. Each day grew a little easier to say and then without noticing; my words were spoken with a different attitude. I was losing the bad feeling inside toward this person without being conscious of it.

Then it happened! In prayer one day this person’s name came to my mind and I cried out to God to forgive them that they didn’t even know what they were doing to hurt us. My heart was fully engaged and moved with compassion toward this person.

(Silence) I’m in awe of God’s wonderful work.

How did He get that yuck out of my heart? There is only one way. His love for me and for others washed way all the hurt and pain. It amazes me how God’s love and our obedience brings blessings!

It is so important to understand the scriptures and why they are life to us. Forgive everyday!

Forgive others as long as it takes to get the unforgiveness out of your heart.

Mark 11:25

And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

The section of prayer we are looking at this week is “forgive us our debts.” It may appear out of place to begin by relating what I perceived as another’s debt to me, but it is what God used to teach me a lesson about true forgiveness.

I had walked with the Lord for many years and loved Him so much, even when I did not understand certain events in my life. One day, as I prayed through yet another time of seeking God but not sensing closeness with Him, my thoughts were interrupted. There was a knowing in my spirit that I was upset. The “knowing” was really of being angry but I quickly changed the word to upset. I am a Christian after all, and Christian’s do not get angry, or so I thought. It became painfully obvious to me that I did not realize what was in my own heart. Jeremiah 17:9 states: “The heart is deceitful above all things’ and desperately wicked; who can know it?” It is religion, not relationship, which causes us to think we stop having certain emotions just because we are Christians.

Allow me to share what happened at this point. I began to argue in my mind that I was not angry. Here I was disputing with the Maker of Heaven and Earth, the One who knit me together, and knew all about me – better than I know myself. Yes, I did! And not just once either, but several times, just in case He did not quite understand me. My thoughts went something like this: “I am not angry. What do You mean, angry? I am happy. I don’t have bad feelings towards anyone.”

Then it happened – a name came to my mind. What? I was really getting confused! The person was someone who had wronged my husband. God’s filing system had just messed up and that wrong was definitely supposed to be filed under the other guy’s name! I noticed how intensely thoughts were coming into my mind. I could not believe that God was saying I needed to forgive him. He is the one who needed to ask us for forgiveness. What is going on, Lord?

My emotions were all over the place. Then I finally settled down and the Lord revealed to me that I had not forgiven this person in my heart. It really had nothing to do with what he had done; it had everything to do with how I responded to the offense when it came. With the Lord, it always comes back to the issues of the heart.

Here is where we find the great “aha” moment. Why did the Lord put “forgive us” and immediately afterwards added “as we forgive others.” OUCH! Looking back, it is simple for me to see how I wanted to be cleared of all wrong. I wanted God’s blessings and love in my life. As He took me to this passage of scripture it was plain to see receiving my forgiveness would cost me something. The cost to forgive seemed a high price to me. I realized I would have to be willing to choose to lay down my reasons for not forgiving this person. Had the gospel become just a ritual in my life? The basic foundation of Christianity is to receive forgiveness from the Father, and to forgive others through His love. It is a simple concept, but not always easy to practice!

Next week: What forgiveness is and what it is not

“As we forgive our debtors”

“As we forgive our debtors” immediately follows “forgive us our debts.” The truth that receiving my forgiveness is directly connected to my forgiveness of others is not something I like. God knows me and He knows that I am not a bad person. (“There is a way that seems right to man but the end thereof is death.” Pr. 14:12; 16:25 NKJV) Most of us like to think we are good; after all, there are a lot of wonderful things we do, and lots of terrible things we do not do! We plainly see the speck in our brother’s eye while being blinded by the plank in our own eye.

As I said in last week’s blog, forgiveness is a simple concept to understand mentally but it is not always an easy thing to do. In the course of life, we usually do what works for us – what we know to do or what has been taught to us. What’s “working for us” can have long-term negative effects. I gave little thought to how unforgiveness was affecting my relationship with God and others, or how it was ultimately affecting me. Becoming aware of the change in my closeness with the Lord opened the door for Him to reveal what was in my heart. I began to see how my relationship with the Father depended on my desire to seek Him and obey Him.

Let’s get back to the story of what was, for me, God’s lesson on forgiveness. The hurt and pain I felt about the wrong done, whether perceived or real, was still sealed in my heart. It was not only still there, but the longer I kept the resentment (not forgiving the offense) the more unforgiveness it was producing. Forrest Gump’s term would be “stupid is as stupid does.” In Proverbs 23:7, we read, “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” (NKJV). What we dwell upon in our thoughts only reinforces either good or bad results. Therefore, unforgiveness can only produce more unforgiveness.

Sometimes when your hand is caught in the cookie jar, you really are not sorry you are taking the cookie; you are just sorry you got caught. This describes exactly how I felt when the Lord revealed that I was angry and had unforgiveness in my heart. In view of the scriptures being so plain, I knew that, as a Christian, I should forgive this man. My feelings hadn’t changed toward the person. I was still mad and hurt. At that point, I told God I was sorry in a real “alright, I will forgive him if that is what you want me to do, Lord,” kind of way. I felt pretty special and just knew God was proud of my spirituality at this point. What was surprising to me was that I felt such a release of pressure just because I chose to forgive.

I knew my closeness with God would be restored and I was a happy camper. This is when the lesson actually began. Forgiveness is not just saying “okay, I forgive this person.” It is forgiving, yes, but it is also releasing the offense, the hurt, and the person completely to the Lord.

The Lord wanted me to forgive the person every time his name or the hurt came to my mind. I thought, “Seriously, Father?” Before God exposed my unforgiveness, I didn’t even notice how often my thoughts went to the hurt. When my flesh finally settled down, I said “Alright, I will forgive as often as I think about him or the hurt. “ Immediately, my question to the Lord was, “How long do I have to do this?” His silence was deafening. I thought, surely not “seventy times seven?” (Mt. 18:22).

Forgiveness of others so God will forgive us is, and always will be, one of the main biblical principles for a good life. How badly did I want to live a good life? For me, the next few weeks were difficult, to say the least.

Next week: the rest of the story of forgiving our debtors.

Today is “this day” from the following quote in Matthew 6:11. We can only live our life today. Yesterday is already gone, we may have plans for tomorrow, but we live in today.

“Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread”

As I ask God for “our daily bread,” I am asking for that which sustains me. Our daily requirements are much more than just bread or food, we also need spiritual food. Our spiritual food is found in His Word and daily eating from His Word feeds our spirit.

After having been through a season of “not enough,” trusting God for daily provisions was a little scary to me. It is obvious as I reflect upon my life and the “trouble I’ve seen,” that much of my trust problem stemmed from my own fears. The word “scary” should have clued me in to what was working in my thoughts.

Trust is a big issue with most people because at some point in life, trust has been painfully broken. When trust has been broken, it must be restored. That only happens through taking God at His Word, and walking in faith. The world does not teach me to recognize my dependence on God rather than on my own abilities. To believe that the God I can’t see is going to take care of my daily needs has stretched me. I have found the adjustment to trusting in Him has transformed my life. I would like to tell you it was a quick work and everything was great, but the truth is, it wasn’t an amazing one-time event. My trust has grown as my relationship with Him has grown. My relationship has grown as I have known Him through His Word.

Here is how I visualize the difference in my life: imagine the feeling of relief after transferring an unbearable weight (which I can’t carry anyway) off my shoulders and onto the Lord’s. He handles it as if it were a piece of straw. I enjoy trusting in the Lord with my whole heart! When I start feeling the pressure of my “today,” I can choose to “cast my care on Him because He cares for me.”

Psalm 68:19 (KJV) reminds me to consider the daily benefits with which I am blessed, and to rejoice!

“Blessed be the Lord, who daily loads us with benefits, even the God of our salvation.” Selah.

This week I am studying this portion of the Lord’s Prayer: “Your Kingdom come and Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”

“Your Kingdom Come”

Living in this world, we hear the many voices of kingdoms vying for power and position every day. God’s Kingdom is above all others, and this truth must be established firmly in my heart and mind. I must examine the attitudes of my heart as I approach the Lord trustingly in prayer. As I do this, it positions me to pray in faith. Then I can call upon Him in confidence, knowing He will answer me.

“Your Will be Done”

I do admit that laying down my will to receive His will to be done has not been easy at times. When Jesus prayed to the Father in the Garden of Gethsemane, He submitted His will to the will of the Father. How do I choose my own will? I choose my will when I pray against the truth in the scriptures, or when I choose not to do what God has called me to do. In the whole scheme of life, I realize I do not have all knowledge, so being able to submit my will to the One Who does is comforting.

“On Earth”

This key statement “on earth” is for us as we live on earth right now. I have heard people talk about getting to heaven just to get out of the pain of this world. Jesus said “be of good cheer for I have overcome the world.” He gave us the power to live a satisfied life here on earth. I expect His Kingdom to come, and His will to be done for me during my life because He has good gifts for me.

“As it is in Heaven”

How is it in heaven? I take great peace in this part of the prayer because heaven has all the things I desire and need in my life.

* Health & wholeness
* Every need met – Abundance in every area – Spiritually, Emotionally, Physically, Relationally, Financially
* Love & acceptance
* Joy unspeakable and full of glory, and peace beyond understanding

God’s Kingdom of Heaven is filled with all the joy, peace, love, mercy, grace, kindness, gentleness, patience, life, health, and prosperity I desire. In heaven, is there sickness and disease? Is there lack and poverty? Is there fear and hopelessness? Is there contention and anger? No! There is no sickness, pain, sorrow, grief, fear or torment in heaven.

I am seeking His Kingdom to come into my life every day.

Let’s enter His Kingdom here on earth and receive all His blessings!

Matthew 7:11 (King James Version)

“If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?”

(If you are reading this, Fernando, just know that you are famous, even in Grand Cayman!)

I want to share a blessing from scripture for you to focus on this week: 3 John 2: “Beloved, I wish above all things that you would be in health and prosper, even as your soul prospers.” Praying that you prosper today!

Today my thoughts drifted down a little rabbit trail. Why should I pray? As life is swiftly passing by and demands on my life are mounding to add another daily task it better be pretty important.

Scanning my thoughts on prayer and why I do and why I don’t do it brought interesting discoveries.

Hebrews 4:11 (Amplified Bible)

11Let us therefore be zealous and exert ourselves and strive diligently to enter that rest [of God, to know and experience it for ourselves], that no one may fall or perish by the same kind of unbelief and disobedience [into which those in the wilderness fell].

When we enter God’s rest our spirit, soul, and body comes to a peace within. The one thing we are all looking for is real peace. I have imagined what would bring me peace through the years yet when attaining it the peace was elusive at best. Before long I was looking for something else. I have found the only peace to be had in this world is the peace from our Heavenly Father, the Creator of all.

Through the centuries man came up with their own gods to try to find peace. Serving a god without power only produced bondages. It is wonderful that my relationship with God creates sense and meaning of everything else in life.

No substance can give me real peace. No possession can fulfill my longing. No person can love me enough. There is a deep place within man that yearns to know his place in the earth. The place of knowing is found in Him.

I have found the reason to pray and commune with my Father is worth changing priorities to pray each day!

Most people without a church background can quote this prayer. I wanted to go back to the basics and look at it again to gain new understanding.

The first line of the prayer Jesus used as He taught the disciples how to pray was; Our Father in Heaven. I pondered a new way to think about this line in scripture. If I pray to my Heavenly Father it is because I am His child. I am part of His family so I can call Him Father. Father indicates a family relationship so it is important for me to have a relationship with Him. That sounds good but in the real life it reminds me of a song written about a family reunion called “I only like half the people I love”! We can have the hardest time with the people closest to us. If we have a bad connection with our family or our natural father it may be hard to get past the first line of this prayer! Now, that is something to think about. I need to make sure I am really calling on my Heavenly Father as a loving Father because He really does love me.

Hallowed be your name. In today’s world this word is not used a lot or may be not at all. Hallowed means “to make holy” so I am to honor Him as a Holy God. Remembering who He is and speaking out His attributes of Holiness brings me before Him in humble adoration.

Then Jesus prayed for God’s Kingdom. Your kingdom come and Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. I got an eye opener at this point. At times I would enter my prayer closet, the one in the scriptures just above Matthew 6:9, and feel neither like a spiritual giant nor strong in my faith. At those particular moments my prayers would look like they fell to the ground with no power. God wanted to teach me to pray more effective prayers. It took some time in repeating the same action before I realized the trouble. I was focusing on my problem during prayer instead of on God. On these occasions my prayers were just rehearsing the problem. Learning to pray with His Kingdom in mind can bring His Kingdom solution into my problem. Seeing it the way it is in heaven can assist me in believing God for the answer. I guess Jesus had a reason to start our prayers addressing God and His greatness.

Jesus brought God’s Kingdom of Heaven into the earth through miracles.

I’m ready to apply these prayer nuggets!

Desiring a pony wasn’t about the change a pony would make in my life it was about the moment. As a child I was not concerned about the responsibility of the pony. I had to grow into understanding “responsibility”.

Looking at my life there needed to be some altering. I am talking about the bad habits that are not producing the good results I want in my life. I have taken this into my spiritual life. I am starting a journey to search out my prayer habits to find what is working and what is not working. As Christians we usually make our wants known to our Heavenly Father through prayer. If we are not careful we may get more than we bargained for just like the pony I wanted. Our prayer requests to God sound good but we are not thinking through the effects on our life. As a child I did not think about taking care of the pony I just wanted a pony. As an adult I have prayed some childish prayers.

One prayer was for a job that was answered and I really wished it had not been. Because we needed the money I begged God for this particular job. After about 2 years I was begging God to let me go home and be with my small children. He answered that prayer too. The little detour did not keep me from where I ended up with God but it did open my eyes to God being my source.

Let me share a few of my misconceptions about prayer. Being a Christian for many years just automatically gives me the understanding of prayer. Not really. Being a minister makes prayer work. NO! Ministers have a call on their lives to help others in understanding the Gospel. Really every Christian should share the Gospel the full time minister may have more opportunities. It is not rocket science you talk to God and He talks back. True!

Since God’s Word says I can have what I say as long as it is in accordance to His Word then what is happening when a prayer goes unanswered for a seemingly long time? I know many books are written on this subject and there are elements involved in a person’s life to why our prayers are not answered. I think looking at my prayer habits could give me a clue to why I am getting the same result in certain areas. I hope you join me on this journey to find the essentials of prayer.

Philippians 4:6 (King James Version)

6 Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

That being said, there are areas in my life I would never like to change. On one hand I am desperately looking for modification and on the other I want no variation. As most people I find myself wrestling to amend poor habits. When my focus is so intent on working to adjust the habits I may miss the obvious changes surrounding me. By nature women are nurturers and relational. This is not to say every woman is a nurturer and relational but by nature we were designed to be that way. For that reason we have deep ties in our relationships. That may be the reason women can get so involved in a movie even though it is only a written script and actors.

As a woman, I find family and friends at the heart of my world. Life can throw us a curve at times and it is so nice to have those around who understand what we are going through. To have people stand with you when you are wrong or right is a true friend. The area I struggle with change is concerning family and friendships. It can be tough when we enter into a new season in a relationship. It has been my experience that relationships in life can change without conscious awareness. Just as the subtle changes reveal the new season our relationships may be transforming into a new season before we realize it. It can make the heart heavy to acknowledge some relationships have entered into a new season. How wonderful that God is the Lord of all the seasons in our life. Enjoying the moment with family and friends is so important. It has been said that we learn all our life. I am learning to appreciate the season of my life and each person God has connected me with during that season. Embracing the new season in life may not be as easy as embracing the seasonal change in the weather but how comforting that our stability is found in a God who never changes.

Hebrew 13:8

Jesus Christ (the Messiah) is [always] the same, yesterday, today, [yes] and forever (to the ages).